I’m pretty sure we’d all like to think we don’t make judgement about other people, but we do – constantly. I see it everywhere, I feel it everywhere, and I know that every time I witness judgements made about others, it’s a mirror being held up to me.
Think about it.
It’s a pretty hard pill to swallow.
Fundamentally, we do not seem destined or designed to get on with everybody. Some people will rub us up the wrong way, some will annoy us, and some we will pity. Yet every single one of those people is walking their own path, with their own issues, demons and celebrations. Every single one of those people is looking to improve themselves and their lives with the knowledge they have.
“People take different roads seeking fulfill
ment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” Dalai Lama
I use Facebook every day, and every day I notice all kinds of energy, mostly positive (I follow some amazing people), and sometimes negative. It’s to be expected. It’s a place of comparison. It’s just one example, but it’s interesting to me to see the reactions of people to posts that somehow trigger them.
What I also find remarkable is how much we try to hide our judgement of others. Yet judgement isn’t necessarily a bad thing, (none of our emotions are, they are all with us for a reason). Our judgements of others, (whether good or bad), tell us an incredible story about ourselves, and really, we should be paying more attention to that, because that is how we heal.
Judgement is like the very first step. Catch yourself judging someone else, and consider it. Sit with it a while, and hear the lesson behind it. How does your judgement show up in your own life? When you feel that someone else is ‘not listening’ or they are ‘selfish and mean’, or that ‘it’s easy for them because’… Pause. Reflect. Go inwards and really consider what that means and what it is telling you about yourself.
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa
Judging others is easily done. It seems much harder to fully accept others and love them for who they are and where they are on their journey – whether you consider yourself further along in your journey or further behind (hint: you’re neither, it’s someone else’s path).
I’m not saying that you should be accepting of others behaviours when your boundaries are crossed, or be a pushover, and I’m definitely not saying you should ignore your feelings about the people or situations that surround you, (quite the opposite, in fact). I’m asking you to see the gift in every situation. See the beauty in those that surround you, even if that can’t be done immediately. Take the time to pause and reflect.
We can’t possibly catch every judgement, but when you start to really pay attention to it, you will notice improvements in ALL your relationships.